Friday, March 25, 2022
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Fairy Story Existence – Bike Snob NYC


Yesterday was heat and wet, and the consequence was like using by way of one in every of Grimm’s fairy tales:

As soon as upon a time there was a middle-aged man who wished to go for a motorcycle trip. So he turned onto a path in a darkish wooden. The trail was clear, as a result of he lived in a metropolis the place bike owner complain incessantly on social media if there’s even a tiny little bit of snow within the bike lane. However when he received to the town line the trail was a slushy mess:

It is because Westchester County’s bicycle advocacy group is mainly like one man up in Tarrytown (Hello, Bike Tarrytown!), and for those who hear something bike-related out of there it’s often one thing like a legislator making an attempt to cross a helmet legislation:

I had a prolonged electronic mail correspondence with that legislator on the time that made my head damage. Perhaps I ought to have been sporting a helmet. He wished to comply with it up with a telephone dialog and I admit by no means referred to as him. I respect he wished to interact in discourse however as somebody who writes about these items continuously the concept of getting a bicycle helmet dialog with a lawyer in the course of the day on high of all that’s about as interesting as having a second tooth cleansing simply because. I imply if I nonetheless had my radio present I’d most likely have had him on, however I don’t, so I didn’t. (And if I nonetheless did have my radio present folks would most likely have began withdrawing their musical catalogs from the station by now in protest of…one thing.) Anyway, I do not know what occurred to that helmet legislation, and for all I do know they handed it and the police are correctly ignoring it. (There’s already a helmet legislation in a single Westchester city and the native police chief has declared it “baloney.”)

With regards to using bikes, it generally looks like we’ve two selections: numerous infrastructure and facilities but in addition numerous enforcement (don’t I do know it!), or fuck-all when it comes to facilities however at the very least they depart you the hell alone.

Finally I believe each have their deserves and downsides, which is why I like dwelling the place I do–within the metropolis, however shut sufficient to the suburbs that I don’t must take care of it if I don’t really feel prefer it. Additionally, you understand, mountain biking:

As for Mister Fred’s Grimm Experience, after being turned away on the border by all of the slush I as an alternative burrowed extra deeply into the boroughs, ending up on the Macombs Dam Bridge–or as my older son and I name it, Macomb’s Rattling Bridge:

In contrast to most bridges within the metropolis, that are blue or gray, Outdated Man Macomb’s rattling bridge is a business-casual khaki:

The bridge opened in 1895, however right here’s what this spot appeared like in 1850 when there was an precise dam:

That’s the Excessive Bridge means within the background, which you’ll nonetheless trip over immediately:

Suck on that, Brooklyn Bridge:

Crossing the Macombs Dam Bridge is a fraught affair, as a result of within the occasion you hear a gong sound you should be prepared to right away depart draw:

It’s essential to even be able to appease the troll beneath the bridge with a bicycle providing:

Luckily I used to be in a position to make it throughout by promising the troll that a fair higher bike was coming alongside, a carbon one with tubeless tires and digital shifting. And sure, I notice that’s a not a Grimm’s fairy story, however no matter.

Sadly there are not any verdant hillsides on the opposite aspect of this bridge the place billy goats could make themselves fats, however there’s a nice huge baseball stadium:

Chilly, moist, and ready for spring; I do know precisely the way it feels.

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